Movie News

No. No! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer have announced their next film will be…The Starving Games! Yes, they’re parodying The Hunger Games. And also Avengers, Harry Potter, and Sherlock Holmes. Because they hate us. Seltzberg will kill us all…

No word on if this is the continuation of their 3D flick, or if that one is still on the backburner…

via

Jump off cliff

That's it, goodbye, people!

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Posted by Tars Tarkas - May 10, 2012 at 10:12 pm

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Clifford the Big Red Movie

Clifford, the gigantic freak canine whose appearance has delighted children for decades and somehow has not caused him to be drown in a lake by crazed religious nuts as some sort of demon dog, will soon be a feature length commer– film from the people who brought you The Lorax – Illumination Entertainment and Universal. Matt Lopez of The Sorcerer’s Apprentice fame will write the script. He’s also attached to the Asteroids film that we’ve heard little about lately. But I’m sure that’s because they’re just taking their time to make it so good!

Norman Bridwell’s Clifford the Big Red Dog books first were published in 1963, and were previously a well-loved PBS series featuring the voice of John Ritter.

via HR

Clifford the Lobbyist

Clifford the Big Red Dog makes deals to get the DREAM Act passed before the Senate figures out it's on a rider to a bill celebrating Apple Pie...

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Posted by Tars Tarkas -  at 6:28 pm

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SyFy Channel in June is Monster Movie Heaven!

June looks like it will be one of the best months for SyFy films since Chupacabra Were-Vampire vs. Space Quake Snake. And while that film might not exist yet, these four new films do exist and will bring a world of hilarity and awesome to the small screen:

June 9th brings us Jersey Shore Shark Attack. Check out your Snookies and J-WOWs vs ocean death, and pray that the Jersey Shore loses big time. Only sharks can save America from Snooki’s baby! Jack Scalia and Paul Sorvino star, while the Jersey characters have names like TC “The Complication”, BJ, J-Moni, and Nooki. John Shepphird (Chupacabra Terror) directs.

Next week on June 16th is Piranhaconda – Jim Wynorski’s new flick about the Part Snake! Part Fish! All Killer! Michael Madsen and Rachel Hunter star, and the title alone is worth a view! The trailer recently popped up.

piranhaconda

June 23rd gives us Arachnoquake – the awesomely titled film where and earthquake causes giant albino spiders to get unleashed upon the Earth to attack Tracey Gold, Ethan Phillips, Bug Hall, and Edward Furlong.

Griff Furst directs, he’s proven he can direct a fun SyFy flick (and be fun as well when he shows up in one of his dad’s films)

I couldn’t find a trailer, so here’s an interview with Furst and some of the cast:

And finally June 30th gives us Bigfoot, which is notable because Danny Bonaduce and Barry Williams are following the Tiffany/Debbie Gibson route and teaming up for a SyFy film where they play rivals! Sherilyn Fenn, Howard Hesseman, and Alice Cooper also star.

Needless to say, the DVRs are being set as we speak to make June the SyFyest month of them all!

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Posted by Tars Tarkas -  at 1:22 pm

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Harmless – when good boxes of porno go bad!

Hey, loyal readers, do you like movies?

Do you like pornography?

Do you like horror movies?

Do you like found footage horror movies?

Do you like found footage horror movies with pornography?

Do you like found footage Christian horror movies with an evil box of woods pornography?

Then you will love HARMLESS! The movie about evil porn and how it is evil. Check out the trailer, drop a couple thousands in funding, and we’re off at the races! Rich Praytor is the creator.

Harmless is a feature film shot in the popular found footage style. It’s the story about a husband and father and his battle with a box of porn that is found in the closet. Once opened, the box of porn begins to torment the family, much like a poltergeist. It’s sort of a social commentary on how pornography can destroy a family. Actual home movies and interviews tell the story of the terror the family faces when a box of pornography is opened and something is unleashed.


Official Site
Kickstarter

Only 14 days to go, people!

Harmless

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Posted by Tars Tarkas - May 1, 2012 at 12:11 pm

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Kurtzman And Orci to ruin Mummy and Van Helsing reboots

We knew The Mummy was getting rebooted, but we didn’t know until now that Alex Kurtzman and Roberto Orci were going to be in charge of remaking it as well as the Van Helsing reboot that everyone has been screaming for. Everyone in the INSANE ASYLUM, that is! For further proof of that, Tom Cruise is currently attached to be Van Helsing. This seems like some sort of desperate plan to make the Hugh Jackman original look like a good movie. Well, Good Game! As for The Mummy reboots, the original two were sort of cool in an Indiana Jones type way, though the third one was less fun and more bore. However, Brendan Fraser was awesome in them, and it may be hard to capture that kind of magic when the Mummy is peeing dust on someone. You might think I don’t like Kurtzman and Orci because all their movies have been varying shades of awful, and you are right.

Sad Van Helsing

Actual picture of Van Helsing audience reactions...


Enjoy the Press Release!

UNIVERSAL CITY, CA, May 1, 2011—Universal Pictures today announced the studio has signed a two-year first-look production deal with one of the leading writing/producing teams in the entertainment industry, Alex Kurtzman and Roberto Orci, and their K/O Paper Products banner. The duo will kick off their new relationship with Universal by reimagining titles from the studio’s library including Van Helsing and The Mummy. The announcement was made by Universal Pictures Chairman, Adam Fogelson and Co-Chairman, Donna Langley.

Kurtzman and Orci have collaborated with some of the industry’s top creative minds including J.J. Abrams, with whom they wrote the third installment of Mission: Impossible, which grossed nearly $400 million at the worldwide box office. In 2007, they wrote Transformers and went on to write Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen in 2009. Together, those films grossed more than $1.5 billion worldwide. More recently, the pair wrote and executive produced 2009’s Star Trek, which grossed more than $385 million worldwide. Accompanying their impressive film resume, Kurtzman and Orci have found tremendous success in television, having created the series Fringe, writing/producing Alias and in 2010, producing the reboot of Hawaii Five-O. They also currently executive produce the highest rated show on Hasbro’s The Hub, Transformers Prime.

“Alex and Roberto are extraordinarily talented writers and producers who know the value of a great story in building successful tentpole films,” Fogelson and Langley said in a joint statement. “They have been a major part of some of Hollywood’s biggest movies and television shows in recent history, and we’re eager to have them build on that success at Universal.”

“We’re thrilled to call Universal Pictures our home,” said Kurtzman and Orci. “From the moment we sat down with Adam, Donna, Peter, Jeff and the entire Uni team, there was an instant flow of inspired ideas. They really understand the importance of building a strong creative team and giving our shared projects their full support. We’re proud to start making movies that will live as part of Universal’s enduring legacy.”

Kurtzman and Orci’s K/O Paper Products will develop and produce a modern reimagining of Universal library titles including The Mummy, alongside producer Sean Daniel and writer Jon Spaihts. The pair will also develop and produce Universal’s reimagined Van Helsing, with Tom Cruise attached to star in and produce the film.

Kurtzman and Orci’s upcoming projects include writing Sony’s next installment of The Amazing Spider-Man; producing Now You See Me, for Lionsgate Summit, set for release in March 2013; and producing Orson Scott Card’s Ender’s Game, also for Lionsgate Summit. Kurtzman and Orci wrote and produced People Like Us, which marks Kurtzman’s directorial debut and is scheduled to be released in June 2012, and wrote and produced the second installment of Star Trek, set for release in 2013. The pair most recently rewrote All You Need Is Kill for Warner Bros., with Tom Cruise attached to star, Doug Liman to direct and Erwin Stoff to produce.

Kurtzman, Orci and the rest of their K/O Paper Products team, including President Bobby Cohen, will be housed on the Universal lot. Former assistants Ben Kim and Kim Cavyan will come aboard as creative executives. Kurtzman and Orci are represented by CAA and attorneys Michael Gendler and Kevin Kelly of Gendler & Kelly, APC.

Van Helsing pic from here

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Posted by Tars Tarkas -  at 10:34 am

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The Hero’s Guide to Being Optioned by Fox Animation

The book The Hero’s Guide to Saving Your Kingdom hasn’t even come out until today, but it already got it’s movie rights snatched up by Fox Animation! It’s a children’s book by Christopher Healy, and deals with the various princes from Cinderella, Snow White, Rapunzel, and Sleeping Beauty, who team up to take down a greater threat than the various evil things they defeated. Besides that, I don’t know, because the book isn’t out for me to pretend to read. No word on anyone attached yet to direct. But it does show that fantasy is still well in the realm of animated film, and this has the potential to be pretty good. Of course, it could also be ridiculously awful. Waiting and seeing gets me impatient at times…

HR via @rwmead

Troll Dolls

This has nothing to do with the book, I just like that it showed up on Google Image Search

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Posted by Tars Tarkas -  at 5:35 am

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Rascal Raccoon’s Raging Revenge is awesome, will be a film

Rascal Raccoon’s Raging Revenge is a graphic novel that looks at what would happen if Wile E. Coyote did catch the Road Runner and killed him. (Yes, he caught him in that one cartoon where he was tiny…) Of course, we can’t be murdering Merry Melodies characters, so instead it’s Rascal Raccoon and Jumpin’ Jackalope. Rascal is one of the Meanies, who try to take down those no-good do-gooders, the Toonies, in the cartoon setting of Toonie Terrace. And Rascal succeeds, killing Jumpin’ unexpectedly when Jumpin’ fails to revive after being ran over. He’s a hero, until he realizes his life is now empty…and he must get Jumpin’ back! Thus he has to take on the animator who created them…then things get weird….

The story is cool, and now Warner Brothers has optioned the screenrights, with Matt Fogel writing and Todd Strauss-Schulson (A Very Harold & Kumar Christmas) directing. Brendan Hay (writing) and Justin Wagner (art) created the original story. The best part is WB got the rights, when the whole thing is loosely based on their cartoons!

HR via @rwmead

Rascal Raccoon's Ragin Revenge

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Posted by Tars Tarkas - April 30, 2012 at 11:20 pm

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