From the “You can’t make this crap up!” Department, this past week in Teabagger Nation has been an insane ride of crazy trying to top crazy, to the point where you had to keep notes on your hand to be the craziest. But more on that later…
Things started off innocent enough when DailyKos did a simple poll asking self-described Republicans (note: This is Republicans, not those who got so fed up with the Republican Party they now self-identify as teabaggers) some questions that showed that they are buying the complete garbage the Right Wing pundits are spewing 24/7.
I’ll steal this summary from HuffPost because of laziness:
# 39 percent of Republicans believe Obama should be impeached, 29 percent are not sure, 32 percent said he should not be voted out of office.
# 36 percent of Republicans believe Obama was not born in the United States, 22 percent are not sure, 42 percent think he is a natural citizen.
# 31 percent of Republicans believe Obama is a “Racist who hates White people” — the description once adopted by Fox News’s Glenn Beck. 33 percent were not sure, and 36 percent said he was not a racist.
# 63 percent of Republicans think Obama is a socialist, 16 percent are not sure, 21 percent say he is not
# 24 percent of Republicans believe Obama wants “the terrorists to win,” 33 percent aren’t sure, 43 percent said he did not want the terrorist to win.
# 21 percent of Republicans believe ACORN stole the 2008 election, 55 percent are not sure, 24 percent said the community organizing group did not steal the election.
# 23 percent of Republicans believe that their state should secede from the United States, 19 percent aren’t sure, 58 percent said no.
# 53 percent of Republicans said they believe Sarah Palin is more qualified to be president than Obama.
When the poll was release, a few right wing pundits went insane. Well, more insane than usual!
On the left, we already told you about the crazy Kos people, but somehow folks like Arianna Huffington are now considered legitimate news sources. That’s what the president should be worried about.
And he has Karl Rove on to agree with him, because, why the heck not?
The highlight of the Teabagger Convention (BagCon ‘10) was Sarah Palin, fresh off her quitting of being offended over the term retard:
Palin gave an impassioned speech for two-year-olds, where she slammed Obama for using a teleprompter, then promptly read things that she had written on her hand.
This is not a double standard, this is a sextuple standard! Someone call Jon and Kate Plus 8, because we got too many standards!
At a session called “How to Unite State Tea Party Groups”, the speaker slowly and deliberately guided the audience through a basic web search.
“In the space at the top of the computer, type in w-w-w-g-o-o-g-l-e dot c-o-m. That website will help you find what tea party groups near you. Then type, Florida Tea Party, then hit the Enter button on your keyboard.”
It was a slow, painstaking process. He had to repeat himself many times, as some could not keep up; others simply couldn’t hear him because their hearing aids were too low
—–
At the end of his “how-to” seminar, the speaker said, “Listen, if y’all can’t find your local tea party groups, just go to your local gun store. They’ll tell you where they are.”
If you think Teabaggers having trouble using Google is an exaggeration, here is some proof that it is exactly what they do, featuring TarsTarkas.NET!
Our BO is approved…by Axe Bodyspray! This time, TarsTarkas.NET is the one doing the teabagging of some teabaggers! That’s what happens when you remember the Knights Templar!
The recent Haitian earthquake is a disaster of epic proportions. It is simply awful. But, some people just say completely horrible things. I don’t understand these people. They must be mentally ill. Or just fucking crazy. In any event, even in the worst of times, you will always have a right wing jackoff saying horrible things on the internet. Welcome to reality! So after you’ve donated to the Red Cross, read up on some things that will make you lose faith in humanity. REMEMBER TO DONATE FIRST, because some of you might not have the stomach to afterwards. You have been warned.
I will start this out with something I have never been able to truthfully say: The crazy posts you will see here are in the minority, and actually had a few people calling them out for being so damn awful. Not many, and not all, but some.
Haiti is literally hell on Earth!
CBS faked Katrina for the epic ratings!
cripplecreek shows up enough on the Wingnut Web we should offer him a salary…
Hispaniola, home of the Sith!
George Obama doesn’t care about non-black people!
HA! Five people died, it’s hilarious!
Why doesn’t God Earthquake the hell out of the Middle East? Does God worship Islam?
See, this is why I told you to donate to the Red Cross first. Because now you know all that money went to Obama’s pockets! MuHAHAHAHAHAHA!! We got your money!
God is really sort of a jerk…
Haitians are the Original Welfare Queens!
Haiti should just write a check to itself…
This conspiracy of…something…totally proves Obama was born in Kenya!
Haiti needs to bootstraps itself out of this earthquake.
What the fuck?
You can’t handle the secret horrors of Haitian Voodoo! I saw it on an episode of Heroes…
I spit out my coffee in shock at your assertions that Haiti is a tragedy!
Did hundreds of thousands of people die in that?
As much fun as a few FR idiots are, you have to remember their inspiration has been screaming pretty much the same thing. First he bashes the island of Haiti:
Granted, Pat Robertson probably has said the dumbest public comment when he said that the earthquake was because Haitians swore a pact to the devil.
But don’t worry, FreeRepublic, the worst comment I found about Haiti comes from our old favorite, ResistNet.com, where a guy actually wrote Haitian Earthquake fan-fiction to try to tickle your funny bone. leon lunsford is our Douchebag of the Day!
Glenn Beck announced his “Plan” - aka sell a bunch of books to gullible teabaggers who will buy anything that promises to save them from Commie Obama Usurpers – and did so at a rally at a Florida retirement home. He also did so without contacting Grassfire.org/Resistnet.com, who Glenn Beck’s 9-12 Project had been coordinating a march on DC on 9-11-10. Instead, Glenn Beck randomly announces a march on DC on 8-28-10! Yes, two weeks earlier, and on the anniversary of Dr. Martin Luther King’s I Have a Dream Speech. Prepare for your dream to be co-opted by a jerkoff using the date to sell his crappy book to a bunch of racists, Dr. King! Yes, the whole thing is to support Beck’s upcoming book, The Plan, which has a 100 year plan for America. I am sure the book will be horrible, but not as horrible as Palin’s book. But it will sell a bajillion copies, thanks to the teabagging rallies across the USA. Too bad for Resistnet, though, what with them being caught holding the bag on Beck’s other rally he summarily dropped. I am sure the reaction will not be over the top…
No he didn’t!
Darla D reveals Resistnet got blindsided by the Beckster!
She may be crazy, but at least she sees Beck is just as crazy. They recognize their own
Why let a blizzard stop you from building your Unabomber shack?
Let’s pretend that conservatives will win everywhere and pretend we are smug months before we should be!
ReddDogg trusts no one who isn’t crazy enough!
Patty Parrett is ready to empty out her 401K to give to Beck. He’s going to be rolling in teabagger dough!
How dare you question the Beckster!
If you can’t hang with the ReddDoggs, stay off the teabags!
He’s going to win elections, not with politicians, but with…..something. Glenn Beck! Glenn Beck! Glenn Beck! Glenn Beck! Glenn Beck! Glenn Beck! Glenn Beck! Glenn Beck! Glenn Beck!
ReddDogg smelled Beck’s behind and doesn’t like it
Another skeptical Beck isn’t crazy enough
More members of the Beck Fan Club!
Henry Wallace wants compromise, the true sign of a liberal appeaser!
How sweet, she thinks Beck actually cares about anything but money
Twittering RedState must be like standing in front of a guy with the stomach flu. Vomit is guaranteed to fall on you.
Secret Mormon Societies! Beck is AntiChrist 2.0!
Riot 24/7 to prove how big of babies we are!
I don’t know how to Google! Help me!
We are at war..with tea..or something…
Rocky calling for unlawful violence? Why I never!
I can’t ever see Pinkstaff’s name and not laugh. Pinkstaff.
Glenn Beck declaring himself the teabagger leader is not about leaders. Right.
We aren’t flocks of sheep, now let’s all follow Glenn Beck…
Stop complaining and mindlessly follow Glenn Beck!
Wendy A asking for a handout? What about bootstraps, you welfare queen?
Glenn Beck won’t return my phone calls and emails and pictures of his name carved into my thigh…
Glenn Beck can eat it! We totally out-crazy Glenn Beck!
Glenn Beck totally screwed them over in order to sell his crappy new book!
blah blah government injecting microchips blah blah. Get a new conspiracy, Captain Boring!
That’s enough screwing over of Resistnet for now! Join us next time as Resistnet gets screwed over by Rush Limbaugh!
Glenn Beck vows to go full frontal teabagger in 2010, teaming up with Resistnet.com to teabag the entire US of A! One good thing about this…Resistnet.com will no longer shrivel up and die, they’ll get a whole new batch of crazy mofos that will keep Wingnut Web in business for a long time. Thank you, Glenn Beck, and I hope you get more victories like your victory in NY-23! WooooOOOOooooOOOOooOOOO!!!!!
Glenn Beck, the controversial Fox News television host, is planning on becoming more active in the populist conservative movement he spawned, according to sources familiar with his thinking.
At a rally Saturday at a massive retirement community in central Florida, Beck is planning to unveil what he has billed as a “big plan” for 2010, which is expected to involve the 9.12 Project, the group he started earlier this year and named for the day after the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks, when he says the nation was unified.
“Coming this January, my whole approach changes on this program,” he hinted cryptically on his Wednesday show. “This next year is going to be critical and I think it’s going to change and I think we are going to set it right, at least set our course right. And if that means the Democrats or the Republicans are destroyed along the way, well, good. Good.”
Beck’s Saturday rally, which is set for 3 p.m. will be broadcast live on Fox, and is timed to coincide with the kickoff of a tour promoting his new book, “Arguing with Idiots.”
The 2010 march – called the “We the People Restore Our Constitution March, Rally and 9/11 Memorial” – is planned for Washington’s National Mall. Its other co-sponsor is an online activism group called ResistNet.com.
ResistNet’s Darla Dawald credited Beck with setting in motion the march, but said he’s not involved in its planning. “Glenn doesn’t want it to be about him – always about the people,” Dawald, who is leading march planning for ResistNet, wrote in an email. “He wanted the 9.12 Project people (grassroots) to be involved and step forward – not him.”
Christine Drawdy, a Florida event promoter involved in the Tea Party and 912 movements who is listed as the travel coordinator for the 2010 march, said the permit for the march is in the name of The 9.12 Project’s administrator, Yvonne Donnelly.
Though Drawdy stressed that Beck “is not the leader of” the 912 movement, she added “all he has to do is say something and they’ll jump.”
ResistNet’s Dawald said she was asked to join the march planning effort by Donnelly, who works with Beck on the 9.12 Project website but did not respond to an email message.
After the election of Barack Obama, Glenn Beck has skyrocketed near the top of the Wingnut talking head group. Although not yet able to topple Rush from the top, Glenn Beck has cemented his number two slot, dethroning and worrying competitors Bill O’Reilly and Sean Hannity. Beck’s radio and tv show has mutated from yet another right wing radio show to one of the most vocal and ridiculous critics of Barack Obama. Beck’s ability to cry for just about everything, along with his constant grandstanding with gimmicks such as The 9-12 Project, have made him a rallying point. The Teabaggers are basically his babies. Just imagine them shooting out of Beck’s vagina, screeching about socialism and “Where’s the Birth Certificate??” Or don’t, because that is disturbing.
Glenn Beck started out on morning zoo radio shows, doing a variety of them across the country during the 1990s. One such job was with Tim Hattrick on Y95 in Phoenix, AZ. A commercial of this has appeared on YouTube:
Glenn Beck’s radio talk show premiered in 2000. His original shows weren’t anywhere near as extreme as now, as you can see thanks to the Wayback Machine archives of his old websites! Check out these archives
There are a few things that would make modern fans cringe. Heck, there are things that make me cringe, like this:
Can’t bleach my eyes enough!!!
You get get to pick five famous people (four from our Top 20 and 1 write-in) you think might die between now and March 31, 2001. You only get to enter once. The person with the most dead celebrities wins the Glenn Beck Celebrity Death Pool Trophy and a chance to be on the #1 Ranked Glenn Beck Program. Did we mention it’s FREE!
Sounds just dumb until you see…is that St. Ronald Reagan??? Better not let your Wingnut fans see you were predicting their hero to be dead as a doornail for fun and games!
* The Bible
* The Gnostic Scriptures
* The Qur’an
* Christology in Context – De Jonge
* On First Principals – Origen
* Jewish Antiquities – Josephus
The Qur’an is not a misprint, he also recommends it in 2001!
Glenn Beck – Qur’an reader! Qur’an recommender. I am sure now he will say it was recommended so that you could know your enemy, but that doesn’t sound like pre-9-11 Wingnut thinking to me. And “da’wah” means the teaching of Islam.
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