Maiacetus inuus whales think they are cool because they give birth on land
You aren’t cool, Maiacetus inuus. In fact, you are extinct! That isn’t cool. Just because all the other whales will never know the joy of walking on land and all of them die like beached losers every time they try, doesn’t mean your special. You aren’t. In fact, you’re just a loser. And I, Dr. Mobusu, am not going to even bother to clone your species and rescue it from extinction obscurity. So there. That’s what you get for your attitude. Maybe you’ll learn your lesson. MuHAHAHAHAHA!!!!Fossils from two early whales — a male and a rare pregnant female — shed light on how these ancestors to modern whales made the leap from walking on land to ruling the sea.
The fetal remains, found with the 47.5 million-year-old pregnant female, were positioned head down, suggesting these creatures gave birth on land, while spending much of the rest of their time in the water
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The fetal skeleton is the first specimen of the extinct whale group known as Archaeoceti, and the find represents a new species named Maiacetus inuus, a hybrid of the words for “mother whale” and Inuus, the name of a Roman fertility god.The fetus was positioned head down like other land animals, allowing it to begin breathing right away. This suggests the group had not yet made the leap to giving birth in the water like modern whales, which are born tail first to allow them to start swimming right after birth.
The 8.5-foot (2.59-meter) male, which was collected in the same fossil beds as the female, is about 12 percent bigger and had fangs that were 20 percent larger than those of the female. Gingerich said these well developed choppers suggest the creatures spent a large portion of their time catching and eating fish.
Both fossils had four flipper-like legs that could have supported their weight on land, but only for short distances, suggesting these whales likely came on shore to mate, rest and give birth, Gingerich said.
Categories: Dinosaurs and other extinct, Dr. Mobusu, Science Tags: Dr. Mobusu, Maiacetus inuus, Whales
Titanoboa cerrejonensis is the best snake ever!
Titanoboa cerrejonensis is a gigantic snake of monstrous proportions that SciFi Channel can only dream of having giant snakes in their movies that are as big as. And now I, Dr. Mobusu, am hard at work at bringing them back to life. Because, the world needs giant snakes slithering around, eating people left and right, and being all snake. Snake is the new punk, and controlling giant prehistoric snakes is the new Dr. Mobusu. Because that’s what I do. You can’t stop Dr. Mobusu, you can only pray his monsters eat you last! MuHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!Fossils from northeastern Colombia reveal the biggest snake ever discovered: a behemoth that stretched 42 to 45 feet long, reaching more than 2,500 pounds.
“This thing weighs more than a bison and is longer than a city bus,” enthused snake expert Jack Conrad of the American Museum of Natural History in New York, who was familiar with the find.
“It could easily eat something the size of a cow. A human would just be toast immediately.”
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Actually, the beast probably munched on ancient relatives of crocodiles in its rainforest home some 58 million to 60 million years ago, he said.The discoverers of the snake named it Titanoboa cerrejonensis (“ty-TAN-o-BO-ah sare-ah-HONE-en-siss”). That means “titanic boa from Cerrejon,” the region where it was found.
While related to modern boa constrictors, it behaved more like an anaconda and spent almost all its time in the water, Head said. It could slither on land as well as swim.
Conrad, who wasn’t involved in the discovery, called the find “just unbelievable…. It mocks your preconceptions about how big a snake can get.”
Titanoboa breaks the record for snake length by about 11 feet, surpassing a creature that lived about 40 million years ago in Egypt, Head said. Among living snake species, the record holder is an individual python measured at about 30 feet long, which is some 12 to 15 feet shorter than typical Titanoboas, said study co-author Jonathan Bloch.
Categories: Dinosaurs and other extinct, Dr. Mobusu, Science Tags: Dr. Mobusu, Titanoboa cerrejonensis
One of my goat-troopers captured in Nigeria
Some of you may have noticed the news reported (laughingly) that Nigerian authorities declared a suspect transformed into a goat. What they don’t suspect is that this actually happened! I have engineered several goat-troopers over the years to infiltrate areas and just cause general mayhem when I was bored. But Dr. Mobusu is a kind creator, and I let my creations choose freedom if they so desire after their first two year term of service. One such creation, a goat-trooper named Martin, choose to leave for greener pastures, ending up in Nigeria doing unlawful things. I take no responsibility for his actions, as I keep my creations well cared for. Eventually, Martin was captured by the local authorities. He will now probably be eaten, and I would suggest slow roasting him because that makes the meat the most tender. MuHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!Newspaper claims suspect transformed into a goat
Fri Jan 23, 6:07 pm ETLAGOS, Nigeria – One of Nigeria’s biggest daily newspapers reported that police implicated a goat in an attempted automobile theft. In a front-page article on Friday, the Vanguard newspaper said that two men tried to steal a Mazda car two days earlier in Kwara State, with one suspect transforming himself into a goat as vigilantes cornered him.
The paper quoted police spokesman Tunde Mohammed as saying that while one suspect escaped, the other transformed into a goat as he was about to be apprehended.
The newspaper reported that police paraded the goat before journalists, and published a picture of the animal.
Police in the state couldn’t immediately be reached for comment.
Belief in black magic is widespread in Nigeria, particularly in far-flung rural areas.
Categories: Dr. Mobusu Tags: Dr. Mobusu, Nigeria
My cannibal stars prepare to devour entire galaxies!
There is nothing more beautiful than the wonders found in outer space. Well, maybe seeing cities fall beneath your monstrous creations, but that is another story entirely. And now, space can finally get what is coming to it by my brand new stellar cannibals! These mean, hungry stars are colored blue, because they are powered with the souls of Smurfs! Roaming the universe, preparing to eat all that comes before them. Consume galaxies they will. Why do I, Dr. Mobusu, do this? Because I can! Dr. Mobusu does what he wants, when he wants, and the universe will learn not to stand in his way. MuHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!Oddball ‘Blue Stragglers’ Are Stellar Cannibals
Astronomers have found what they say is the strongest evidence yet that a mysterious class of stars known as “blue stragglers” are the result of stellar cannibalism.Blue stragglers are found throughout the universe in globular clusters — which typically are collections of about 100,000 stars, tightly bound by gravity. Because all the stars in these clusters are thought to have been born at the same time, they should all be the same age, but blue stragglers appear to be younger than their cluster peers.
The origin of these strange, massive stars has been a longstanding mystery, said study leader Christian Knigge of Southampton University in England.
“The only thing that was clear is that at least two stars must be involved in the creation of every single blue straggler, because isolated stars this massive simply should not exist in these clusters,” Knigge added.
Categories: Dr. Mobusu, Science Tags: Dr. Mobusu
Animal at the wheel…
Looks like my Live Action Muppet Program has spawned some imitators, and soon real life versions of Muppets will be all over the planet. I, Dr. Mobusu, will turn this world into a real life Greg the Bunny! MuHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! There is no escape from the future puppetting of America.
The Muppets’ Animal Caught Speeding, Driving Police Crazy
Yes, the photo above is real: It is Animal—from The Muppets—driving a British Audi while speeding through a German road. The famous pink drummer is driving the police there absolutely crazy, because he keeps doing it again and again. Or better said, the real driver is, using a low-tech approach to take advantage of a weak point of the radar cameras. I don’t know about you, but this image makes me laugh out loud. The German police, however, wasn’t amused when they explained to the press how the whole joke worked and how they couldn’t fine the driver because of it:
The number plate is not enough [to catch and fine the driver]. We need clear evidence of who is driving the vehicle too. But because this is a British vehicle we can never get a decent picture [because he radar cameras are designed to take photos of the passengers in the left seat, not the right]. The driver has obviously worked this out because he has placed a large puppet in the passenger seat.
This may be an example of the famous British sense of humour but it is still dangerous driving. The driver has been caught on camera on several occasions and the puppet is on the passenger seat every time. We suspect he positions the toy deliberately before accelerating past the camera.
Categories: Dr. Mobusu, WTF? Tags: Dr. Mobusu, Muppets
Phase 5 of my plan is complete!
Today, Operation Total Mayhem 7 has reached Phase 5 with the capture of tanks by my pirate army! The tanks have been switched with decoy styrofoam tanks for when the Russian navy comes to blow the pirates out of the water. That’s why I only subcontract out my pirate armies for missions like this that will have massive reprisals. My private pirate army would have no problem repelling dozens of Russian vessels. The world must be prepared for the mastery of Dr. Mobusu!
Pirates seize ship carrying tanks, ammo
(CNN) — A Ukrainian ship carrying tanks and ammunition has been seized by pirates off the coast of Kenya, the Ukrainian Defense Ministry told CNN.
The vessel Faina, flying a Belize flag, was headed to the Kenyan port of Mombasa after departing from Nikolayev, Ukraine, according to Lt. Col. Konstantin Sadilov, spokesman for the defense ministry.
He said it was seized by pirates on Thursday not far from its destination.
According to the defense ministry, the ship was carrying 33 Soviet-made T-72 tanks, tank artillery shells, grenade launchers and small arms.
The weapons were sold to Kenya by Ukraine, said Ukraine Defense Minister Yuri Yekhanurov, according to the Interfax-Ukraine news agency.
He said the entire shipment was contracted and carried out by Ukrspetzexport, Ukraine’s state arms exports monopoly, and it would know better exactly what was on board.
Categories: Dr. Mobusu Tags: Dr. Mobusu
I didn’t knock up that sea dragon!
Drop the lawsuits, please! I totally didn’t knock up that sea dragon guy, using artificial eggs and sperm to make him pregnant. He isn’t breeding an army of sea dragons which I will use to threaten offshore oil rigs in exchange for extortion money. There will not be a herd of giant sea dragons roaming the ocean that will attack shipping lanes for cheap goods, hijack oil tankers, and sink Greenpeace vessels for fun. And any news reports you see to the contrary are all a pack of lies. Trust your Dr. Mobusu!
Endangered sea dragon at Ga. aquarium pregnant
Thu Jun 12, 3:19 PM ET
ATLANTA – A weedy sea dragon at the Georgia Aquarium has something to celebrate this Father’s Day. One of the rare creatures is pregnant for only the third time ever at a U.S. aquarium, aquarium officials said. But don’t look for the expectant mom — dads carry the eggs in this family.
The aquarium’s sea dragon has about 70 fertilized eggs — which look like small red grapes — attached to his tail. He is expected to give birth in early to mid-July, said Kerry Gladish, a biologist at the aquarium.
Categories: Biology, Dr. Mobusu, Science Tags: Dr. Mobusu, Sea Dragon
